Short
courses in Islamabad on
Listening. Are you a good communicator? We hope to answer the following question
by the end of this article, and that is: Are you a good communicator? We
suggest that you decide now already on what your answer is and then review it
and the end. Communication skills give you the ability to parenthood, to sell,
to work and by improving it you can have stronger relations ships with your
Boss, wife, children, friends etc. Remembers the quality of your life depends
on the quality of your relationships. Low quality relationship = low quality of
life and high quality relationship = high quality life. The quality of your
relationship depends on the quality of your communication skills. The missing
link in communication is listening! The word listen also spells silent which
means that you need to become silent if you want to be a good communicator,
i.e. first become a good listener. Listen also spells the word enlists which
means getting emotionally involved. Think about your relationships with your
wife, your boss, your friends, emotionally isn’t it. Listen – Silent -Enlist.
We purely going to help you to do things you already know and make you aware of
them: We start off with one of the biggest principles applied to business. The
question to ask is; what is the function of a business? Most people will
answer, to make money. The answer is not to make money but to get and keep
customers. The goal in business is to make money. Confusing this two will lead
to bankruptcy.
The focus in short
courses in Islamabad is therefore on your customers and not
to make money. Become a curious person to become a good listener and serve the
customer, whether he is right or wrong, go out of you way to keep him. In order
for us to understand what listening is we first need to understand what it is
not? Listening is not?
- a) ATM (Automatic talking machine) habit. Not listening to others and instead working on your own story which will have more impact as yours is 10 times better. Do not do this because yourself discipline must step in and rather keep quite. Give the credit to the other person and let him feel good, this way you will earn his credibility and respect.
- b) FAR Problem (Formulating a response) While you are busy with this, the other person will pick this up and you will lose credibility.
- c) Sentencing: Finish other people’s sentences because you think you know what they are going to say. This person may be a slow talker but that does not make him less intelligent or you cleverer. Maybe he is more selective with his choice of words. Will you like it if someone does it to you?
- d) Mr. & Mrs. Fix it. Do not solve the other person’s problem by giving him advice, but rather sympathize or encourage him. Only speak if your opinion is asked.
- e) Doesn’t worry be happy response – This is a response of not listening. Re insure the person that he is capable to do the task and that he is good at what he is doing. Encourage him. Telling a person not to worry will make him worry more as he might feel that he is not good enough to do the job as he know that he is worrying.
- f) Playing God. It is not your job to determine as to whom, what etc is either right or wrong. You are not a judge and neither did this person asked you to be the judge. Making a comment and the wrong direction will cause more harm than good. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
- g) Listening is not hearing. Hearing is non-volunteering and occurs with your ears whereas listening is selective and occurs with your mind, heart and spirit. Hearing is easy but listening takes effort. With hearing you do not have to care but with listening that is what you do, you care. You can hear someone and repeat the words without listening to him and without caring.
Karl Rodgers in his book “On
Becoming a Person” said Listening is the most powerful force we know for
altering the basic personality structure of the individual in improving his
relationships and his communication with others. If I can listen to what he
tell me and if I can understand how it seems to him, if I can see the personal
meaning for him, if I can sense the emotional flavour it has for him, then I
can unleash potent forces of change in him. Communication is like an iceberg
you say 10% but mean 90%. Through proper short courses in rawalpindi on listening
this can be revealed. Hearing is only 10% listening the 90% Meaning is not
contained in the words, see the following meaning with the emphasis every time
on a different word the meaning of the sentence completely change. This difference
can only be picked up through listening. I Love You. I Love You! I Love You! I
Love You? Three words and four different meanings every time! Now, how do we
become better listeners? There is a 2 step module for better communication and
this is the easy one, Ask – Listen, Ask – Listen. The more complicated one is
Attend, Acknowledge, Clarify and Respond all occurring at the same time.
- a) Attend – You are present in the communication and need to pay attention in the moment to the person. Factors preventing you from paying attention are external and internal. External is noise, environment etc. Internal is preparing what to say next, my own thoughts, assumptions and my own pains in my body. Set yourself aside to listen to the person you are in discussion with. Allow him to finish and listen. Do not interrupt.
- b) Acknowledge – Recognize and validate that the other person is important. When the other person is finish, you have to “pause” sensing that what he said forces you to think deeper. This pause can be long. Do not answer straight away. Other ideas, oh I never thought of it or well that’s a good idea.
- c) Clarify – Ensure that you are on the same wavelength. Respond to the wrong message ends up catastrophically. Say to the person, what I hear you say is…and repeat in your own words what you have heard. Also try, can you elaborate on that specific issue again as I do not understood it or heard it properly, or can you repeat what you said there? Make sure that you know what you are going to respond too.
- d) Respond – Response is not reaction. You do not have to have all the answers. If you do not know say so. Say I will find out. Make suggestions. Ask for his response. What do you think what should happen. With the above in action you will become a good listener which will lead to a good husband/Wife, a good parent, a successful business entrepreneur and an outstanding salesman.